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Dating Is Dead – Long Live The Pickup Artist (PUA)

The pickup artist known as 'Mystery'

The pickup artist known as 'Mystery'

Not surprisingly, with the busy pace of today’s lifestyle and our infatuation with electronic gadgets (smart phones, tablets etc), the young people theses days are finding less and less value in dating. As a result, the age of the pickup artist (PUA) may be dawning.

In the modern dating scene, the emphasis is more often placed on ‘hooking up’ over romance, and on the much simpler act of sex over developing a complicated and often ‘not worth it’ relationship.

And where a relationship does exist, it often ends with a brief (“CYA”) text message in place of the more traditional, “we need to talk?”

Are Daters Really Unhappy In A Relationship?

When the participants in a relationship are unhappy, or the relationship ends in failure, it’s because of misplaced expectations, bad communication and poor choices. And dating used to be the way we could improve our skill at those things.

When the relationship failed, we’d cut our losses, move on to the next opportunity that looked even remotely promising and start again.

This led to a kind of  ‘serial dating’ where the connection we longed for became as elusive as a presidential candidate who tells the truth. As a result, daters are never quite happy in their relationships. Eyes wander, minds fantasize and opportunities are rarely dismissed – not at all unlike the modern pickup artist.

The Pickup Artist Simplifies The Process

Today, the pickup artist (PUA) sharpens his (or her) skills like a panther on the hunt. Taking in every nuance of body language and using banter to strike, while employing subtle methods of mind control and persuasion that would have medieval torturers plunking down every gold coin they owned to learn.

And though dating gave birth to the pickup artist, the mindset between the ‘dater’ and the pickup artist is as different as night and day.

Some wiki-websites would have us believe that the modern PUA is a single white male who is skilled at meeting, attracting and seducing women. But in reality, the pickup artist (not unlike the panther) has but one goal: conquest. The fulfilling of a basic need.

In contrast, the serious dater is also out for a good time, but the primary (and often unwritten) goal of dating is and always has been to establish a relationship – finding mister or misses ‘right’ to be that ‘boy friend’ or ‘girl friend’ with love and romance being the icing on the relationship cake.

But “I Love You” Is No Longer The Relationship Panacea It Used To Be

Let’s face it, in today’s world to hear the words “I love you” and believe that it’s going to last more than a couple of days, or even a couple of hours, is unrealistic at best, and delusional at worst. Needs are changing, society is changing, and how we interact with each other is changing.

Hooking up is the new designer drug and dating is a failed paradigm which can no longer contain the greater essence of who we’re becoming.

The simple truth of the matter is that dating is dead and the age of the pickup artist has dawned.

Long live the pickup artist.

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