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Dating Horror Stories: How Fresh Breath Ruined My Date

Dating Horror Stories Presents...

A Lesson Learned The Hard Way

Editor’s Note: Thanks to Maheshdas for one of our funniest yet most tragic  Dating Horror Stories.

In 2008 after I graduated from university I was lonely and didn’t have much money.

In my university years I had a girlfriend with whom I eventually broke up. During the time I was  going out with her however, I had the chance to meet some of her friends. So naturally I started making friends with her friends. As it turns out, a few months after we broke up I got up enough courage to ask one of them to go out with me.

Little did I know that my date with ‘Mary’ was going to turn into one of those dating horror stories I’d never forget.

How it all began…

It was a very strange summer day, one of those days where it rains for 5 minutes, then the sun’s out for 10 minutes and then it rains again and so on.

Never-the-less we decided to meet in the park, so I dressed up nicely and put on some cologne and went to meet her.

Everything was going really well.

Watermelon bubble gum is great for fresh breath…

I liked Mary and wanted to make sure everything was just perfect, so I popped a piece of watermelon bubble gum into my mouth so my breath would be real fresh and smell like watermelons.

We went to this nice place (an historical monument) and sat down like 30 meters away in a more intimate place. There was no one around so we could pretend we were alone together.

The conversation seemed natural and unrehearsed as we talked about our lives, how our high school years had gone and so forth.

It started to rain so we sheltered ourselves under a nearby roof. We huddled next to each other continuing our conversation, but it seemed like it had somehow become more intense and intimate.

Mary was a really sweet girl and she was also kind of lonely. I learned that a few weeks before our date, her grandfather had died and I was the only one to understand how she truly felt. As we talked about her loss,  she wanted to thank me for listening and being so understanding. She asked if she could give me a hug. I just couldn’t help but feel mesmerized by her so I said yes. It was one of those long, warm, genuine types of hugs and I enjoyed it very much.

Afterward, we decided to head over to a place by the seashore. We hadn’t kissed yet, and I became obsessed with secretly changing my bubble gum like every 50 minutes or so. But I didn’t want her to see me do it.

When we reached the seashore, I realized that I was really into Mary. So as we continued to talk  about our lives, I slipped behind her hugging her gently and just holding her.

Romance was in the air

The seashore was a very romantic place and I was felt like we were making a real connection. The death of her grandfather had brought to mind a story of how I had almost drowned when I was a teenager so I decided to share it – not much of a romantic story I know but it felt right at the time. Luckily, she told me a similar story.

It was then that we ran out of things to talk about.

It was actually the perfect moment to kiss her however, but I didn’t know if I should attempt it or not. With only a moments hesitation I decided to go for it. I moved in slowly and when I was almost to her lips, she suddenly turned and kissed me.

I was so surprised I couldn’t believe it.

After that, we found a cozy but private place to cuddle and she sat in my lap.

That’s when it all began to go horribly wrong.

To this day, I’ll never know what possessed me to do it, but I felt the sudden urge to change my gum. As she kissed me on the neck, I tried to remove my old bubble gum and throw it away. But as I got it out of my mouth,  I accidentally got it stuck in her hair…

My date with Mary turned into one of those dating horror stories…

I was terrified as I saw it hanging there – it felt like something inside me exploded. And worse, while she was kissing me, I had to pretend that I was in the same hot mood she was in as I secretly tried to pick it out of her hair.

As fate would have it however, she eventually figured out that something strange was going on. That’s when my terror turned to panic. Fumbling to remove the gum quickly,  I instead caused it to get stuck even deeper into her hair.

When I finally confessed,  she was really upset and started to cry. Her tears turned to anger and she caught a cab home.

I felt awful.

I was really into Mary and wanted the relationship to develop into something more serious – now I’ll never get that chance.

A few days later…

A few days later I saw her with short hair – yes she had to get a new haircut and all because of me.

She wouldn’t even talk to me.

So what did I learn? Well I came away with a hell of a Dating Horror Story and a lesson well learned about chewing gum on a date.

But hey, on the bright side, this is one of those dating horror stories I can tell my kids and grand children – well, maybe not.

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